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This, Just This

Title: This, Just This
Author: 
jooles34
Recipient:[info]ssw_loved
Prompt(s): A lot of the fandom has Connor in danger, or hurt, or emotionally upset - this time, how does Connor take the lead for once and end up comforting Abby? Angst with a happy or hopeful ending.
Pairing(s), if any: Abby Maitland, Connor Temple
Rating: 15
Summary: When Abby feel likes giving in, what will it take for her to carry on?
Warnings: Some descriptions of injuries, real and imagined
Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own Primeval
AN: Written for
[info]primevalathon. Beta-ing thanks go to the ever so kind emyrldlady

 

 

Abby wakes suddenly, confused, disorientated and it’s still dark. The confusion scares her, but a part of her brain seems to be telling her to take comfort in the confusion because it’s about to get worse.

Then the pain slams into her; the conscious brain suddenly catching up with what her unconscious nervous system had been going through during her sleep.

She lets out an involuntary gasp, and her body shifts into a sitting position as her arms reach reflexively for her leg, the source of the pain.

“Wha?”

Abby turns, startled at the noise next to her, immediately calmer when she sees Connor slumped in a beanbag next to the bed. He’s waking too, his confusion turning instantly to concern as he sees her. He flounders a bit in the soggy beanbag, struggling to push himself upright. Somewhat awkwardly he is suddenly on his knees next to the bed having pitched himself forward in such a way that there was a moment when Abby feared his head would connect with the edge of the bed.

But wait. What? Why is Connor here?

“What are you doing here Conn? Where’s Jack?”

“He, ah, he said he had to go out. Had plans. I didn’t want… I didn’t think you should be left on your own.”

“I’m fine Connor, really.”

“Don’t do that. You don’t need to do that. Not with me. You’re hurt, it’s okay. It’s okay to let yourself be worried about for a bit. Can I get you anything?”

“Really Connor, I’m fine.” But the fight and the usual steady confidence has gone out of her voice. Even she can hear it. She hates the way her voice shakes and betrays what she’s thinking.

Her mind, her damn mind, is working overtime and filling in all the blanks that blissful sleep had hidden from her.

Abby reaches out for Connor’s hand, grabbing it almost blindly, like a lifeline and he grips back, tight and sure, and…and...and…

And she’s running and she hears it behind her, feels it behind her and she turns and it’s a mistake because now she’s falling, can’t stop herself falling. Her hands hit the pavement and the pain is sharp as skin tears and shockwaves run up her arms and her gun…where is her gun? Her gun is lost, thrown from her hand as she fell. She turns and looks up and it’s another mistake because now she can see it looming above her. Not the biggest creature they’ve encountered but big enough and it has a name, a name that trips off Connor’s tongue like water but won’t stay in her head but names don’t matter right now because it’s launching at her. She kicks out with one foot, tries to connect, but the creature is too quick and suddenly everything is crystal clear yet dull and hazy at the same time.

Time seems to slow and she watches transfixed as the creature’s teeth wrap around her leg. Denim is torn and flesh is punctured and her jeans go from blue to red. She thinks it’s strange that she can’t feel any pain yet but the zoologist in her reminds her about all the adrenaline and endorphins that are currently flooding her system keeping the pain at bay and she wonders idly if she will feel the bones snap. Then she thinks that maybe there are more important things that she could be thinking.

Then she’s not thinking much at all as her world floods with pain. The creature has let go, its head snapped to one side, attention pulled by something she hasn’t seen. She stares at it, then she hears a shout and she turns to look. Connor is running towards her, arm raised holding a brick, and then he’s not and it’s arcing through the air towards the creature’s head. She turns back to the creature and watches it turn its body and lean back on strong hind legs and she knows then, she knows with absolute certainty what is going to happen next.

The creature starts its leap, heading straight for the breakable softness of Connor’s body and he stands and watches and she lays and watches and it’s all so clear, so so clear. In her mind’s eye she sees Connor fall beneath the body of the creature and it’s so stupid not to remember its name and she imagines she hears Connor cry out, knows he will cry out and she sees teeth tear and pull and sees blood spill to the ground and then the cries will stop and then and then…

Abby shudders and pulls herself back to the present, Connor’s hand still gripped around hers, warm with blood that flows inside him, where it should be. Earnest, worried eyes watching her.

“If Becker hadn’t got there in time…” she starts, but can’t continue.

“But Becker did get there in time.”

“But if he hadn’t…”

“But he did. You can’t think in what-if’s Abby.” She watches the veil of worry lift from his face and be replaced with something else; still just as earnest, but confident, and softer.

“If it had reached you it could have killed you.”

“Nah, that would never happen. I’m far too handsome to die young. Besides that’s what we keep Becker and his men around for. It’s not only because the girls think they look good in black.”

Connor is trying to keep the tone light and she rewards him with a small smile. But she can’t keep the clouds from her face for long.

 “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” The words force themselves out through a throat that is constricting with emotion.

“Yes you can. You need to Abby, we need to keep doing this.”

“Why? Why us? Why me?”

“We found that thing first today because you knew where to look. If we hadn’t it would have ended up in that park with all those kids. And they don’t have a Becker to look after them. They need us.”

“I’m tired of being scared. Scared for me, scared for my friends. I can’t lose anyone else Conner. I can’t carry on.” Abby hates herself because she can feel the tears prick at her eyes and knows there is no hope of keeping them in. They blur her vision before tracing warm tracks down her cheeks.

“Yes you can. I know you can. I know because you’re beautiful and you’re brilliant and you’re brave and the team needs you. I need you. You’re my best friend Abby. I couldn’t do this without you. And you’ve had my back more times that I can count. Actually I used to count, but I stopped ‘cos it got embarrassing.”

He smiles then, that slight, almost timid smile that still makes its way up to his eyes and a giggle bursts suddenly from her, forcing its way through the tears.

Abby feels her hand, still clasped tight in his, a protective grip that keeps her grounded. She stares at him, looks into those brown eyes that are so open and vulnerable, but so old now. Old before their time. She sees herself in those eyes. Sees everything she has seen, been through, coped with, beaten, survived. And she sees hope in there too.

And then all the fog is gone and life is crazy complicated and stupidly simple all at once. This is what she needs. This is all she needs to get through, to keep going.

This.

 

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
telperion_15
Oct. 31st, 2010 11:11 am (UTC)
Awwwwww, this is nice! You've captured Connor especially very well here, with his combination of earnestness and joking around :)
alyse
Oct. 31st, 2010 01:06 pm (UTC)
I really enjoyed this, and I loved the stream of consciousness bit in the middle.
owensheart
Oct. 31st, 2010 02:46 pm (UTC)
This was really lovely and you captured both Connor and Abby well.
prehistoriccat
Oct. 31st, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
Aw, that was lovely :)
evenstar_estel
Nov. 1st, 2010 05:39 am (UTC)
They do show each other love in all sorts of ways, even if they're not blatant. They're each other's greatest sources of strength and you've demonstrated that beautifully! Lovely!
casy_dee
Nov. 1st, 2010 02:40 pm (UTC)
This was a truly lovely story... it drew me in, for sure. Great characterization and I think you kit upon Connor and Abby just right.
fredbassett
Nov. 1st, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
Nice to see Connor being strong for Abby in this :)
nietie
Nov. 2nd, 2010 08:19 pm (UTC)
Very vivid and moving. Loved it, especially those last lines.
knitekat
Nov. 2nd, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
Aww. Nice to see Connor as the strong one.
neferitiel
Feb. 2nd, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC)
Connor saves the day :D
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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